HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
#happy 450th you old loser i hope you’re banging kit marlowe in heaven
A handy guide to some of the terrible things the Mail has printed since 1924.
This barely scratches the surface, though, I find it hard to believe they didn’t do anything terrible between 1956 and 1984.
and yet people still use it as a source
leftists from outside the UK still use it as a source
you all need to stop using the Daily Mail as a source FOREVER. Do not reblog, do not link, do not go to their site because they profit off ad traffic, and tell anybody you see doing any of these to immediately and permanently stop. We can’t run them into the ground but we can at least put a little dent in their profits and we can at least stop legitimising their bile by giving them anything other than negative attention.
yeah even when linking to an article on something trivial like a puppy riding a tricycle, it’s always better to find a different source because getting people to click that link gives them advertising revenue.
also if you need any more convincing, the founder of the Daily Mail and general trust was an active supporter of the Nazi party, and he used his newspapers to try and influence people to advocate an alliance with Germany
do you ever listen to music and suddenly you’re like wow I want my life to be the way this song sounds I want to live in this song
So I accidentally discovered this picture while i was looking for cute things to crochet and THERE ARE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO TURTLE COZIES.
THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY HAVE NORMAL ONES
THEY HAVE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE FUCKING BOWSER
THEY HAVE ONES SHAPED LIKE ANIMALS
THEY HAVE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO MAKING YOUR TURTLES LOOK LIKE FOOD
THE PUMPKIN IS SO CUTE BUT THIS GEM IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
BUT HOW DO YOU CHOOSE A FAVORITE WHEN THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE
i fucking cant
When I get married, I’m going to shut all the doors at the reception and have the band play the Rains of Castamere and watch everyone panic.
bitter star wars fans who insist that anything prequel-related is garbage can kiss my ass and throw themselves into the dustbin
man every time i rewatch captain america i’m like. so inspired by dr. erskine. what a dude. bleeding out in steve rogers’ arms and his final act before dying is to go in for a last second boob touch. like, the dude saw his window of opportunity closing and he snatched it. not gonna see pecs like those in a shirt that tight in the afterlife. gotta make every minute on earth count.